Loving Families

There are two families in our church who, I think, are loving above and beyond the average. Actually, they love like some people in my early life have loved me.

There is a couple, J & M, I have gotten to know pretty well. J’s bday is the day after mine, with me being 11 years older. AND, J & M’s anniversary is also on May 4, and they were married 11 years after we were. So, there was an immediate connection when we discovered this. For J, this is her first marriage, and M’s second and he has a son, JJ, from his first marriage. As a substitute teen Bible class teacher, I had several occasions to teach JJ. At that time, he was a troubled but bright kid. He acted up somewhat, but whenever I taught, I tried to provide an atmosphere where he felt safe and didn’t need to act out.

JJ had been living with his mother who had her own issues, and wasn’t really watching her 14-year-old. So, J & M took him to live with them, which was the best thing they could have done. His grades and behaviour improved under their loving and disciplined care. In the past 4 years, he has turned into quite a responsible and nice young man with career aspirations and a dedication to hard work. But their love did not end there. After all, this was still M’s son. JJ had a friend MM. MM had a very bad family situation, and was on the verge of getting into some serious trouble. J & M felt all he needed was a stable home, to know he was loved, and that he was worth something. After 6 short months, his grades improved dramatically, and he was no longer running with the same crowd that almost got him into trouble. M told me their greatest joy was to hear JJ and MM in the rec room laughing and joking with one another. Just before Christmas, MM won a scholastic award at school for Math!

There is a young man who sits in front of me in church. He and his wife used to come with their two young children. Then after a while, only the young man came with the children. He loves those children, and they are very well behaved. He makes sure during the course of the worship service that he holds one or the other on his lap and he hugs them tightly. It’s really nice to see. There is no competition between them because they each know they will get their turn.

Around Christmas time, I asked about his wife as I hadn’t seen her for a while. He said they were separated, and said she had a “medical situation” and added something like “and the children are safe now.” Hmm. Wow! I found that to express true love for his children; that the most important thing to him was that they were protected. Wonderful! And very courageous. And even with all this upheaval in their lives, the children are still well-behaved.

My mother left when I was 6, which was a good thing. We were not safe with her around. And dad stayed with us to raise us. It wasn’t long before he enlisted the help of his uncle and aunt, and they moved into the house with us to take care of us. Our great-aunt was an extremely loving woman, and after a while, we started to call her “mom” because, even though she was not a blood relative, she cared much more about us than our own mother.

The influence of these loving people in my life showed me the true nature of love. And I hope over the years, I have reflected that love to others. It just seemed to me to be a natural way to live. But the harshness of this world has “beaten it out of me” to a degree. I still love people the way I always have. But I’ve come up against such selfish and unloving people in my life, especially lately. These people have used my kindness for their own gain without thought of learning from my expressed love and reflecting it to others. It has worn me out. However, God is good. He knew I needed encouragement, and showed me these two loving families in my own church family. It moved me strongly to find out these things about these people. It reminded me too, that not everyone is selfish. Yes, my early situation was unique. And yet, it was a rich and fertile ground to grow the kind of loving behaviour that reflects the love of Jesus.

Until next time, love the way Christ loved…